Stuck in the middle

Let’s slash taxes. Let’s not even have a government except for a military.
Well, we could privatize that, too. So let’s abolish all taxes and let the market take care of it. Private militias will keep us safe, right?
The market will take care of everything. It’s the natural way. It’s the way of God. Excuse me, a Christian God.
Let’s make health insurance, pensions, police forces, fire departments and parks all totally private.
Every man, woman and animal for themselves. Survival of the fittest. Wait. Strike that secularist sentiment. Survival of the most devout.
Or let’s raise taxes on the rich. They make the most money, so they should foot the bill for our health insurance and retirements -- even though these are the people most of us work for and they’re already footing part of the bill.
Let’s redistribute all the wealth in the name of fairness, so even if you quit school at 16 and sit around smoking joints all day and playing video games, you have a quality of life relatively similar to someone who busts their rumps day in and day out.
Let’s create more programs so the irresponsible can continue to skirt responsibility. Let’s banish all religion from sea to shining sea -- and any of the morality that comes with them. This country ought to be an orgy of abortions, drunken debauchery and the spending of other people’s money.
We’re all worm food when we die anyway, so what’s it matter?
Well, what you believe does matter. It’s what puts certain people in charge.
Given the recent debt ceiling debacle it’s obvious that the extreme factions of political parties are becoming an issue. Has the gulf between Democrats and Republicans grown so large that all they can do is sneer at each other like kids on different kickball teams at recess?
My clarion call to all of you: stop being a bunch of crybabies. This country’s greatness was built on compromise and moderation.
Democrats have to learn to be more fiscally responsible. They’re beholden to every poor sap or welfare mom looking for a hand out. There’s always another deserving program that needs funding. They’re always ready to punish financially success folks with more taxes to fund a federal ballet camp, or something like that.
Stop it.
The Republicans are no better. They try to cloud their agenda with gallant magic tricks and illusions. They have duped people who make less than $200,000 a year into thinking that they represent you. They do not. Let me repeat. They do not represent your interests in Washington. The rich have been buying working class hearts and minds for decades by flashing an American flag and playing country music in the background of their political ads. Unless you belong to the country club, they are prying into your soul and stealing your votes.
This is what they do: they get honest, hardworking Americans riled up on a social agenda concerning abortion, gay rights, sex before marriage, religion in schools, and all that other baloney, but when it comes down to it, they really don’t care about that stuff. What they do care about is what all politicians care about: money and power.
So, with clowns to the left to me and jokers to the right, I am just stuck in the middle -- probably with the rest of the country. The folks who don’t go to Tea Party or PETA rallies. The folks who quietly head off to work each day and pay their taxes and try to pursue happiness within reason.
The folks no one seems to care about anymore.